Too often we find ourselves comparing ourselves to other people. I do not know why we torture ourselves this way. I used to believe that comparing myself to other people would motivate me but I slowly began to realize that I was making myself unhappy. I questioned, what was I doing wrong that I did not see the same success in my life. I am a hard worker and a good person. Why am I not where I want to be? Well, it took some time, but I come to realize that some of my problems were because of my own insecurities and fears. I also realized that we are all different and things will happen it is own time. So, I have learned to be grateful for the many accomplishments I have had in my life and the supportive people who do not let me forget it.
Here are three reasons why you should stop comparing yourself to others.
1. Comparing yourself to others is a joy stealer. You will begin to question everything about yourself and slowly destroy any amount of self-confidence you may have. Why them and not me? Why am I not as successful? Why do they have had all things that I want? You will no longer allow your past accomplishments to motivate you instead you will become angry and resentful.
2. You think you know, but you don’t know. When you see people with the things you wish you had, you start to find ways to make them the villain. The thing about being on the outside looking in, you do not know that person’s struggle. All you see is the end result. You don’t get to see all the hard work and late nights that got them the promotion you wished you had. You don’t get to see the heartbreak from past failed relationships before he found his soulmate. You don’t get to see how the three-person family was living in a one-bedroom apartment while saving up for that dream home they live in today
Also, looks can be deceiving. All that shines is not always a diamond. A lot of people pretend to be something they are not. Some people have the most expensive shoes and clothes but can barely pay their rent. Some people are always going on trips and vacations, but they live with their parents, for free. You may see a beautiful woman who has an amazing shape, but little do you know she has on all kinds of contraptions holding everything into place. Not to mention, a face full of makeup to hide every imperfection. In the age of social media, your insecurities will be amplified by 1000% if you are not careful.
3. Lose out on your own dreams and goals. When you compare yourself to other people, you will start to doubt your own capabilities. You will somehow forget all the good things you have done in your life. Instead, you just focus on your disappointments. You will begin to fall victim to your own self-doubt causing you to give up on your own dream and goals.
If you are allowing other people’s accomplishments to steal your joy, here are five ways take back your happiness:
Focus on you
Start focusing on yourself, instead of worrying about what someone else has. When you focus on other people, you will start to forget all the all great things you have and have done. Instead of wasting your time comparing yourself to other people, start focusing on all the good things in your life. Focus on all of your past accomplishments, then make the necessary changes in your life so that you will not have to compare yourself to other people.
Acknowledge and accept
When you notice that you are comparing yourself to others, acknowledge it. Once you acknowledge your behavior, you can make efforts to change, then stop it. Know your worth. Do not base your happiness on someone else’s success. Become a believer in yourself and all that you have accomplished so far. Accept where you are in your life and begin creating a plan that will get you where you want to be.
Be grateful for the life that you have. Do you remember when you first started out? How things were compared to where you are now. Be grateful for all that you have at this moment of your life. Look at what you have accomplished so far. It is something to be proud of. Yeah, you are not quite where you want to be right now, but you can get there.
Beware of social media
If you really want to torture yourself, you will continue bingeing on social media. Social media is the world of make-believe. Also, you are looking at one moment in time. You don’t always get to see the whole picture. You are causing yourself undue stress when you may be comparing your slump in the road to someone else’s greatest achievement. Take some time away from social media so that you can gain real perspective.
Start loving yourself unconditionally, flaws and all. Know that success in love, life, or career does not come easy. So stop being so hard on yourself because things haven’t happened exactly in the way you thought they would. There is nothing wrong with admiring other people but don’t forget how great you are. Loving yourself and putting the right plan into action will be the reason you accomplish everything you want in life. Just as long as, you stay determined despite any obstacles in your way.
“Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want.” ~ Jim Rohn